Perfection and Obedience

1 Corinthians 2:1-5 When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.

I was asked to give my testimony of God's miracle in my life during the Middle School and High School chapels at my children's school.  I agreed, and April 10 was the day of the "big talk." While I feel very comfortable writing and sharing my testimony in one-on-one or small group opportunities, I am not an orator.  Speaking in front of groups is definitely not my strength... not at all. 

This was the first opportunity to share my story with an audience. On a stage. In the weeks prior to my chance to speak at Chapel, I prepared for my talk, organized my notes, and prayed that God would be with me.  I imagined that since it was a story I knew so well, since I lived it, surely I would be able to speak it flawlessly, with strength and sureness... 

I have to admit...

I was hoping to be amazing... I wasn't.
I was hoping for perfect delivery, telling my story with clarity and strength... I didn't.

Yes, it was good, but not amazing... not perfect... with a somewhat rocky start...  In fact, after I spoke to both groups, I was somewhat disappointed in myself.  I felt like I somehow let God down. I should have, could have, spoken with more eloquence...

Yet God is so good.  In His infinite perfection, plans, and purposes... He used it anyway. I have learned He used it to plant seeds, and bear fruit in children and adults.  He used it to touch other lives... regardless of my imperfection.  

God laid on my heart that He doesn't demand perfection. Only He is perfect... He wants us to be obedient. He wants us to say yes to opportunities put in our path to share His good works... to share His Good News...  even when we are uncomfortable. Even when we don't shine, but He does.

I realize now that if I was perfect, it would have been about me.  And it wasn't about me at all.  It was about Him.  It is His story.  It is His account of His power in my life and my family's life.  And He can and will use it as He sees fit... despite my oration skills...  despite my imperfections.

Dear Heavenly Father,  Thank you for continuing to teach me. LORD, You never stop moulding us, shaping us, and growing us. Help me to be obedient, even when it is uncomfortable. I praise You that You alone are perfect, and that You do not demand perfection from us. Help me to have a humble, servant heart.  Use me for Your Kingdom in any way you choose. Thank you for the blessing of serving You.  In Jesus' name I pray... Amen